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It’s me, Hi, I am the problem it’s me.

Hi,

So very lovely to meet you.

I am Penny, Pen to my family & friends.

I thought it might be nice for me to tell you my truth.

I spent most of my life hating everything about myself…

My curly red hair

My face

My name

My impulsive, sometimes wreckless behaviour

My body

My personality (why can’t I just shut up sometimes)

My fads

My ancestors

My inability to just fit in

My competitiveness

All of these things propelled me to pretty much hate the person I was and therefor gave anyone the right to treat me as they liked, and not how I liked…. Because, I didn’t know what I liked or really what I wanted for myself.. all because I hated myself so much….

Sound familiar?

Only when I started down the journey of healing, did I start to uncover all the pieces of myself, some I liked, most I disliked, and embraced them as I would embrace anyone else… with complete love & understanding.

Why was it I could be kind to others and yet not to myself? Why was it I would give my all to transform my boyfriend’s lives and not my own?

Because that work is real. That work is hard. That work is painful. But it is beyond rewarding.

When I began to hold (and still do hold) myself, my younger injured self, was when I learned to love myself.

This lack of love for myself was ancestral. The women in our family were not taught to love & respect ourselves.

And this is what I plan on changing for my daughter. I want her to know that trauma is ok, pain is ok, because, guess what, we can and will heal from that.

Reiki healing & past life regression helps me everyday. It helps me to heal gapping wounds and deal with the little t’s (little traumas), that can add up to overwhelm. This healing has helped me to hold space for myself, know my boundaries and show people how to treat me.

And it can do the same for you.

There is not one person I have ever met that does not have trauma. Everybody deserves to heal.

All you need is commitment. Deep commitment to yourself. The rest will follow.

All my love,

Pen

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